So. University is about to start again, which means days will start at 8 and finish at 6 – at least, this is the goal. It’ll be hard to get accustomed to the much earlier starts. Lately, I’ve been working a lot of midnight shifts, hence most days I don’t get out of bed until in the early hours of the afternoon… Yes, let us not talk about the days when I’ve gotten up when others turn in for the night. However, the idea of getting up early doesn’t phase me. What does bother me? Many things I suppose. Lack of motivation mainly. Anxiety too. Sometimes the line between then seems so vague they just become one and the same thing. Throw some depression, insecurity and fear into the same pot, give it a stir, and you end up with a good recipe for something that can not be considered success. How you ask? Well, all of those things have two things in common: they make you feel like shit, and more often than not it’s dealt with by not dealing with it: sleeping. Sleep is my best friend. Can you see where this is going? That’s right, it’s not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. I stay right here. In my room, in bed, asleep. And this ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my life.
For the past week, I’ve been anticipating – or rather dreading – exam results to come out. Having spent too much asleep, with very little input, you won’t be surprised to hear I’m not expecting good things. I guess the quote:
Good things come from hard work,
Speaks truth. I don’t think success comes from good grades, or materialistic possessions, or money. So, what is success if none of these? Good question. I think success is when you work hard, to the best of your ability, and this brings you satisfaction. The outcome does not need to be perfect, but if you work hard, and get a result you are happy with, then boom, success.
This is all a bit predictable, and who knows if there’s any truth to it. One thing can be said though. I do not work hard enough to have success. That is all I know. Maybe this year, this little lazy kid will get her butt out of bed and do things. Study, work, socialise. Who knows, Maybe success is an infinitely tall mountain. You climb and climb, but never reach the top. This year I will start climbing, and maybe I’ll find some gems hidden in the mountain of success.